Linear to Circular

Have you noticed how challenging it is in our busy lives today to have meaningful relationships? In our excessively busy, high-tech, world we tend to run "linear relationships" instead of building a circular and supportive communities that support and promote success.

Author Randy Frazee describes a linear relationship as "..running from one relational unit to another. As you exit one world and enter another, there may be some mention of the people you just left behind, but essentially they are not connected to the present world in any meaningful way." (Making Room for Life, pg 47). Sound familiar?

Linear relationships are not conducive to really getting to know people, to building solid and supportive relationships and to find true meaning to life. We just bounce from encounter to another without really giving of ourselves or sharing with others whom we really are or what we want to be. For some it is a "safe" way to get through the day without having to give of yourself or be your authentic self. But have you really thought about what you actually get from these relationships? Are they really helping you to grow, be successful in life or to reach your goals?

To get the most out of life consider building circular relationships instead of linear by:

1. Eliminating unnecessary and negative relationships. Simplify your life by removing the links or worlds that make your life stressful or hard to integrate into your long-term goals and plans.


2. Drawing and combining circles. Invite folks from one circle of your life to participate in another. Combine those with like interests. For example: if you like a particular hobby or activity and so do others you know, begin participating together as a group. Keep it simple and low-key and you may be surprised at how meaningful this can become for everyone.


3. Creating a hangout. The hit TV show "Friends" explored the value of a hangout and a "safe" place to share your life with others. Again, keep it simple but consider making your front porch, garage, cafeteria at work, a local park or beach, some centralized location become a favorite hangout.

By creating circles with your relationships you will find that many of your friends and family have common interests. When we do something together, even if it is as simple as sitting on our front porches sipping a glass of iced tea, we begin to build and grow our relationships in a helpful and supportive way. Darting in / out of a conversation does not help us grow.

You may be wondering how you can do this at work? With a little thought and effort you can. Don't forget to be mindful of how much time you spend on these activities take and always be respectful of your organization's values and mission. Here are some ideas:

1. Coffee Cart. Designate 15 minutes one day a week to grab a coffee and chat. You can quickly go around the group to see who needs some extra support or help. Focus on positive solutions rather than just the typical negative or destructive 'water cooler' chit chat.


2. Exercise Breaks. Setup a group schedule and 'buddy system' to take your break to walk around the block or up/down stairs. Consider having everyone wear pedometers and start logging their daily steps or activities as a group.


3. Girls / Guys Nights Out. Schedule a monthly or quarterly Girls or Guys Night Out after work. Pick a centralized location that is easy for all to get to. Going out to a local restaurant to share a meal is great but you may also want to consider meeting a local park, coffee shop or community center. Select a topic for discussion and establish some simple ground rules making the activity a "safe" zone where negative and destructive behaviors are not allowed. You may even want to agree, as a group, to not talking about work in these settings but focus on other topics and getting to know one another outside the workplace.

Regardless of what you choose to do in regard to an activity, take some time to evaluate your linear relationships. Identify one or two people in which you can start building your circular relationship and take action. Develop some meaningful and positive relationships that will help you to grow personally, professionally and spiritually. You will be amazed at how this enriches your life!

To learn more about Randy Frazee and his book, click here.